As women, it’s very easy to throw our lives into our children and if we have time some of us will also work, volunteer or do some sort of extra curricular activity. I used to complain to Andrew all of the time about never getting any ‘me’ time. Whenever I got that brief moment away from the kids I would fill it with errands and chores that we feel absolutely have to be done before we get back to the usual rituals that fill our everyday lives.
As women, if we get a few hours off, our inner voice says ‘hurry, you have to do the food shopping, get home, put the roast on at 4, feed the kids by 5.30 so that they are in bed by 7. Oh, and don’t forget the bottle of red on the way home!’
I was chatting to a gorgeous lady the other day who was telling me how guilty she felt if she wanted to organise her mum to look after the kids so she could get a facial.
I cant say that I was in complete shock as I know that this is such a common feeling amongst so many women out there. Women feel unworthy of taking time out to feed their soul, no matter how we choose to feed it. Women feel like a decision to be away from the kids and to do something for them has to be overtly justified and just darn right selfish.
We all take time out to do little things for ourselves in different ways. Some need a massage, others just 20 minutes of alone reading time and others still might need a 2 day break every fortnight to function and be the best they can be for their family. We all have different wants and needs and that’s completely ok.
When I have spare time you will most likely see me here working on my blog. I really love writing and sharing things that I love so this for me is soul food. Right as Rayne provides me my outlet and not to mention the perks that come with the job.
I will definitely put my hand up and say that I used to be the one saying to my husband (only from time to time, ha) ‘I don’t get time to play golf, have facials or cocktails out with the ladies’. I would default to feeling like he should be the one to notice how hard I was working and he should be the one to give me time off. I would be sabotaging and blaming someone else which ultimately was only putting my own happiness on the back burner. Big mistake.
What I have learnt from a lot of men is this. If they think something is important for them they will move heaven and earth to complete that task. It is that personal sense of ‘I know what I have to do to stay happy’ that I admire so much. Obviously in any situation there must be compromises but it’s that enate ability that most men have to look after their own extra curricular wants and needs without feeling a shred of guilt for it.
1: Forgive yourself for needing some ‘you’ time.
2: Don’t expect anyone else to open the door for you to get the time you need.
3: Find out what it is that will fill your spiritual health and wellbeing and put major importance on achieving it.
4: Let your partner know and organise time for you WITHOUT the guilt.
5: Pat yourself on the back, you are doing an amazing job.
By feeding our soul with what we need and how ever often we need it then I can guarantee you will be a better mother and wife for it.
By looking after yourself, knowing what is important to you and not waiting for your husband to notice that you are working so hard and need time out will keep a family healthier, happier and together .
Ladies, if we don’t put ourselves as number 1, if we can’t identify what is really important to us then how can we expect anyone else too.
What’s your favourite thing to do when you get time for yourself?