I am struggling!!
On the 15th of January 2014 my husband got a ‘real job’. After 15 years playing AFL with the West Coast Eagles he has now become a BDM for Investwise Property Group. As much as I have always appreciated what football had to offer our family I will be the first to admit, nothing prepared me for the new life that is now in front of me, the life of a stay at home mum.
The perception out there is that footballers are away a lot and whilst that might be true every second weekend, during the week there were not many day’s that Andrew would walk in the door after 4pm. About every second day he would be home for lunch and he always had a day off during the week.
What this meant for our family is that Andrew had the opportunity to be completely in the kid’s everyday lives and that I had flexibility. If I ever had to work they would generally be with their father or grandmother. We shared all of the typical mother duties. Cooking, cleaning, washing and kid’s were all jobs that we would do together. I could plan meetings around his weekly schedule and I never had to put that pressure on myself to be the ‘homemaker’.
Andrew is now gone by 8am and home after 6pm Monday to Friday. I am a stay at home mother and trying to squeeze a bit of work in where I can.
Andrew has never put that expectation on me but I now feel it’s my responsibility. I can’t expect him to cook dinner for the kids when he is getting home after 6pm. They would be starving!
I don’t want to sound like I am whining as I know this is something that is very normal in society but I really have been struggling to make the adjustment. The pressure that we put on ourselves as women is massive and I often wonder why we do it to ourselves. Why are we so capable?
On top of my new ‘home duties’ comes the responsibility of the restaurant, Beluga where I have invested so much of my time and money, not to mention this blog. I often toy with the idea of stopping work all together but when ever I have that thought a happy feeling doesn’t resinate and we all know what that means.
Having Andrew in a ‘real’ job has allowed me to step away from physically working at the restaurant (unless it’s super busy of course) but I still do all the books, reporting and attend the important meetings.
I’m not struggling with the kid’s and work balance but I am struggling with all of the other expectations I seem to have thrust upon myself. Most days I am running around at 4pm trying to decide what the kids are eating for dinner. As then as soon as the kids are in bed for their lunch sleep the negotiation starts in my head. What’s more important? Putting the washing away and doing the dishes or the two hours of work that is overdue and on a deadline.
Last week on Monday I had Autumn and Lux ready for their swimming lesson. I arrived only to be told that they never received my application form so they sold my places. Can you imagine! What a horrible mum. A quick stop at Claremont Pool was my only saving grace.
On Tuesday I had Autumn’s first dancing lesson. She was so beautiful in her pretty pink outfit with her hair in a bun. Well, the class that I thought started at 4.30pm was actually 4pm. There we were, waiting patiently in the waiting room. When I decided we had been waiting too long I poked my head into the studio. There they were, pretty pink ballerina’s dancing up a storm. In we go were I apologised over and over again to the teacher as I thrust my 4yr old daughter into the class on her first day.
Poor Autumn. Bad mum.
This is my fifth week of service as a working/stay at home mum and I am finally getting the hang of it. I will be honest and say I don’t love the ‘duties’ that come with being a housewife but I do love being with the kids and not having to rush to the restaurant every 5 minutes. When they are awake we want to play. We go exploring and love heading off on little excursions. They don’t want to watch me fold the washing!
I am learning so much on this crazy journey they call life and I love being able to share it with you.
Hat’s off to you mum’s that have it all figured out. Massive amounts of respect being sent your way.
I will keep you updated on my trials and tribulations as they are happening and please Lord don’t let me forget or be late to one more activity!
All you stay at home mum’s out there, send me your sneaky tips!!! I would love to hear them.